WELL, I was 24 years old and going through an online divorce, which was possible to do as Jim and I didn’t own much together. I happily left everything behind and only took what was mine, I needed a fresh start without ties to Jim.
I was in a new job, working for an amazing company where I met some great colleagues. I made firm friends who became my second family. The job paid well too, so I was able to rent a cosy flat by myself, albeit sacrificing half of my monthly salary to do it. I felt a strong need to be alone and to get to know my real self. So far, I had been under the influences of other people and it was high time to live alone for the first time. It was extremely hard at first and I had to have my friends around me most of the time, as I couldn’t face being by myself, being alone with my own unhappy thoughts. Some months later I slowly started to cherish being alone and doing things which I wanted to do, unrestricted by others, for the first time in my life.
I was in my second year of external study at a university, happy to be back on my initial happiness plan. I started meeting with some of my classmates in the evenings, after the lectures and I found out that one of them was my neighbour (I will call him Tim). It was not long before we became an item. He was handsome and I couldn’t believe that he would be interested in me. I knew that intellectually we were worlds apart, but I didn’t stop his advances. He seemed wholly smitten by me, texting me all the time how much he missed me. I liked him too, he was freshly different from my ex and I was enjoying myself being in a relationship again. Four weeks into our dating, he went for a two weeks holiday with his brother. When he came back and we met in the class, he acted like he had never known me. I was completely at a loss. What must have happened on that holiday? I have never asked him about it, I was too proud and hurt. I was angry, as I still felt vulnerable from my marriage break up and this hit me so out of the blue. It felt like a blow below the belt. I didn’t want to be single, so I desperately looked around for possible boyfriends. My story six ‘Dating Games, part 2 – Seeing a Colleague’ will talk about this.
I see now how desperation for something makes us do foolish things. I was blinded and I didn’t listen to my intuition which was saying that Tim wasn’t the right person for me. I understand now that it was crucial for me to date Tim so soon after I had left Jim. It showed me that I could date other men and prevented me from slipping slowly back to my ex husband. I am glad now that our dating was so short and neither of us got hurt more. It shook me that someone could and did leave me so abruptly. This was a valuable lesson for me as I have never again taken any relationships for granted.