BARELY 18 years old and determined to leave my home country, I fearlessly boarded my first ever plane to the United Kingdom. Once there, I was badly hit by homesickness, I missed my family, my friends and I didn’t know anyone in this foreign place. My self-confidence was very low and I cried in the evenings feeling sorry for myself. I felt that everything in my life was wrong and that I would never be happy again. It felt very unfair that I was ‘forced’ to leave my home, my country and be somewhere where I didn’t wish to be.
I felt very lonely for the first couple of weeks, I didn’t know anyone and everything was so very foreign. It was a very painful, self-confidence building exercise. I put on 10 kilograms in weight in 10 months as I stopped all exercise and ate a lot to banish my depression.
I looked for reasons for me to leave my hosting family for home, but there was nothing. The family, including the children were great. I had to pick myself up and get on with it. When I started to go to the college for English lessons and met other foreigners, I slowly started to enjoy myself. I met interesting people from different countries, made good friends, improved my English, cooking and driving. With other Au Pairs we went on trips every weekend and had lot of fun together.
Ten months later I was ready to go home and to give another try for university. I was eager to get back on track with my rudely interrupted plan for happiness. However I met a guy one month before I was supposed to leave which put the whole plan on hold again. My story three called ‘Drunken Encounter’ talks about this more.
However painful being away from home was and how hard was it to build my existence in the foreign country, I learned a lot about myself. I know now that I can survive anywhere and I know my own inner strength, which is priceless.