WAY back when I was 17 years old, I had it all figured out: I wanted to be happy. I even had a plan how to reach my happiness. It was simple: I go to university, meet my future husband there and after getting a PhD (in something) I will have enough money to live well. It had never occurred to me that I could fail the first step in my flawless plan.
Shocked to my very core, I got massacred in the university entrance exams. I could not have messed the Math part any more than I did. My dream for happiness was shattered to the most minuscule pieces and I thought that I would never be able put them together again. This was so unbelievable to me, who always had good marks at school, and so very embarrassing! I was so sure of myself that I only applied for this one university, when I could have applied to others at the same time.
I felt like my world had collapsed in front of my eyes and the worst possible disaster had just occurred (little did I know at the time that this would be nothing compared to my future experiences!). I didn’t know what to do, this was the worst thing that had ever happened to me until then. I felt thoroughly humiliated and hurt, it was not fair. I decided that staying in my town was not an option. My injured ego did not allow it.
As I searched for the options to escape my pain and my town, I decided to go abroad to be an Au Pair. This was something that I would never have considered before and my story two ‘Au Pairing Blur’ talks about my experience. I hadn’t done any traveling abroad under communism. When that ended, I managed to trick my mother once to let me go to Italy for four days on a school trip. I was therefore not very travel smart, but still very determined to leave. There was nothing to keep me in my town, not even a boyfriend.
This one single event which I perceived most painfully at the time put so many wheels in motion, shaped me as a person and gave a new direction to my whole future. For years I still looked back at it with resentment. Now, two decades later, I can fully appreciate the enormity of the goodness which it brought and I am now so very grateful about it taking place! I would not change it for the world.